By Lady Margareta le Sayre
It was a quiet weekend at a small needlework event in the Shire of Abhainn Ciach Ghlais, until someone fed the Canadians sugar…
What follows is a completely truthful account of the events leading up to a devastating War That Wasn’t.
The Baron and Baroness of Ramshaven, Ealdormere, Penn and Lucia de Moranza, opened court…. Food Court… with the test-tasting of Oreos and Peeps, as well as chips and snack foods that could only be found at exclusive merchants in the distant lands of Æthelmearc.
Her Dredd Excellency Lucia was delighted at the Oreo offerings of Strawberry Shortcake, Carrot Cake, Lemon, and Dark Chocolate.
She was, in fact, rather dismayed that the Oreos from her own shores were no match for the decadent colorful filling she discovered abroad. To add insult to injury, both of Their Baronial palates were thoroughly appalled by the flavor of Holiday Sugar Cookie Cracker Jacks.
“This is an abomination!” said Her Dredd Excellency, Baroness Lucia.
“This is truly awful!” agreed His Delicious Excellency, Baron Penn. “Here! Try some!”
“Let me make sure” quoth the two of them, as they sampled the dreadful flavor once more.
After a speedy conference, it was decided that the existence of this flavor of Cracker Jacks and the betrayal of Æthelmearc for having better Oreos most surely meant war between the kingdoms!
The Ealdormerean contingent gathered their War Peeps and Attack Rams, and vowed to return. They shall pepper us with Dill Pickle Jalapeno chips and attack our taste buds as we have surely battered theirs!
Politely, of course, they promise the Rams will be on their best behavior.
Same time next year, perhaps?