This song was performed live by Éadaoin at the 2019 Æthelmearc 12th Night, for the Sylvan Bardic championship. It was originally performed from the mixed point of view of a 5th century monk and a SCAdian scribal artist. The upcoming Kingdom 12th Night will be January 11th 2020 in St. Swithin’s Bog, inviting us all to celebrate the glory that is Æthelmearc, and enjoy a winter day of fighting, fencing, feasting, dancing, music, and halljoy together! Who knows, we might even catch a glimpse of Éadaoin, performing again!

A 2D World
Lyrics (mostly) by Éadaoin Ruadh (mka Rebecca Glon)
Melody from “A Whole New World” Composed by Alan Menken
Lyrics by Tim Rice


I can show you a world—
Maybe not shining, but splendid—
Where I can’t remember the last time
Part of my skin wasn’t dyed.

Such an intricate art,
Lines and spaces at play…
Why is this horse green?
Oh well, it’s a rough draft anyway.

A 2D world: an old yet simple point of view.
This medium doesn’t show depth, I know,
But I can flatten any object on cue.
This 2D world: so many scrolls ruined by a cat
Or by my dragging sleeves, and remember, please:
Keep your tea and wash water separate.
(Or you’ll hallucinate a whole new world!)

Unbelievable hours,
Chained to my chair for weeks.
Two scrolls by Thursday?!
Looks like I’m not getting any sleep.

Our 2D world (don’t you dare lick that scroll!)
Just please say “thanks” once so we think you care.
We hope in your new scroll’s home, it might get shown,
But after it’s buried in a pile of garb somewhere.
For a 2D world of beautiful art, we hope and pray.
When gilding and paint won’t stick, we mutter “Shiiiii…oops!”
That’s the most explicit thing I can say.

A world in two dimensions is where I’ll be,
‘Cause we don’t see the third ‘til the fourteenth century.


Éadaoin Ruadh is an active member of the Æthelmearc College of Bards on the Book of Faces. More information on the upcoming Kingdom 12th Night can be found on Æthelmearc.org and on the Book of Faces. And if you feel inspired to join in the fun, the event posting lists: “We graciously announce that the Kingdom Bardic Championship will be held at our event this year, so come prepared to share your talents!”