Aunt Æthel and I would like to thank the Ærtisans who devoted their time and creativity to the Fake Research – Real Writing challenge. If you have not read the entries, please head over to the Æthelmearc Gazette and take a gander. In fact take two ganders. We have too many ganders; take as many as you want.

So, our entries were:

  • “Were Medieval Nobility Hunting with Birds – or Spying on Their Subjects?” by Elska á Fjárfelli.
  • “The Sutton Hoo Textile”, by Mord Hrutsson
  • “The Fair Youth of William Shakespeare’s Sonnets” by Maggie Rue
  • “Roman Dodecahedrones: To Hear or Not to Hear” by Éadaoin Ruadh
  • and “London Destroyed by Kaiju” by myself, which I entered just for fun.

There was a submission that was entered but rejected: “It’s Gooshy Food O’Clock and My Horrible Hooman Is Nowhere to Be Found.” by Deckster. The requirements of the challenge was to limit the paper to around 1000 words and keep it family friendly, and Deckster did neither.

My paper was, of course, not judged. Elska’s high flying paper about falconry used to spy on peasants was fun. Mord’s paper about an unexpected historical find really cleaned up. Maggie’s paper on the secret friend of Shakespeare was a delight. (Although, the requirements of the challenge stipulated that you could not use Leonardo da Vinci, you did through the Kevin Bacon principle. I would remind you that in “The City of Death”, we are told that The Doctor was a good friend of Leonardo.)

But, Aunt Æthel and I agreed that Éadaoin’s paper on the true purpose of Roman Dodecahedrones is the winner of the AS56 April Fool’s writing challenge. Your paper made us laugh out loud more than once. Aunt Æthel enjoyed the puns and I hit your reference to “What Does the Vox Say?” like a bag of soup hitting a wall. I can never watch a gladiator movie again without thinking of what does the Vox actually says. “Citizens of Rome, what say you?” “Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!”

Lord Éadaoin. You stand… Well, you’re probably sitting as you read this. Lord Éadaoin, you sit before the Virtual Kingdom as our winner. Your prize is bragging rights for the next year. And I owe each and every one of the entrants a token.

Thank yous go out to Elska and the entire Æthelmearc Gazette for collecting, formatting, and posting these papers. And I would like to remind the populace that the Gazette is always looking for content.

Yours in service,
Baron Caleb