The aging out of the SCA is a common topic in the SCA these days. There is a growing concern that the number of people leaving the SCA is outreaching the number of people joining the society. This is in part to members reaching the age of “retirement” in regards to the more physical aspects of the SCA, but is also due to people leaving to explore different activities. That said, there is little in the way of accurate research to determine if this “aging out” is truly happening, and if so, at what rate and why.

Early last year a council was formed to study the numbers behind this phenomenon. The council looked at the number of new members, the average time people remained members, the activities they participated in, and at what age they stop participating. Additionally, the council looked at how new members entered the SCA (demos, internet, etc.). Sadly, after several months the council determined there was in fact a slow reduction in membership, but they could not attribute a root cause.

One member of the council, Master Vulpes Miller, was not satisfied with the council findings. Master Vulpes speculated that the problem was deeper and more complex than running more demos. An expert in ancient cultures, Master Vulpes believed the SCA was suffering from the same symptoms that caused the rise and fall of similar ancient societies. Most of the council disagreed with this theory and Master Vulpes theory might have gone ignored if not for a monumental discovery last year.

Early last December Egyptologists studying the pyramids at Giza uncovered something phenomenal. For year scientists could not explain the absence of hieroglyphs inside the pyramids or why the pyramids construction differed from surrounding structures of the same time period. This was cracked open when deep scanning radar discovered the internal structure of the pyramids was not solid, but in fact was a series of rods covered with a fossilized canvas like material. This meant nothing to the Egyptologists, but upon reading the research master Vulpes identified the pyramids as what is best described as “giant advanced pup tents”. Furthermore, the lack of hieroglyphs inside indicated that the inhabitants wanted the outside of the structure to appear to “fit in” with their surroundings, but had no concern for the accuracy of the inside of the structure.

This discovery came at the same time as the unexpected release of previously top secret files documenting the UFO crash at Roswell in 1947. The report did not substantiate if the crash was a UFO, but did reveal a crash wreckage manifest that showed the “craft” was carrying a large amount of cargo including 1947 era clothing, bottled water, sunscreen, coolers, waterproof shoes, and a vast amount of alcohol.

It was not until a year later when leaving Pennsic that master Vulpes connected the dots on these discoveries. As he packed his camp he joked to himself about how his van contained almost the same items as the Roswell “craft”. It was then that he looked at his camp and noticed how the wilted grass where the camps tents once stood reminded him of something…not of this earth…crop circles!

Master Vulpes had not discovered the cause of the SCA aging, but perhaps he had discovered a solution in earth’s distant past. The evidence suggested only one thing. The earth had not only been visited before, but these visitors came to earth to recreate earth history! Much like the SCA, it was logical that other advanced civilizations might amuse themselves by recreating other cultures. Given the evidence, there was no question; aliens had traveled vast distances in over packed spacecraft and lived in primitive conditions to pretend to be us! Perhaps their influence is what made mankind obsessed with recreation! The Aliens are us; we are the aliens! Why had they stopped coming, would they come again, and if they came what advanced knowledge of recreation could they offer an aging SCA? Perhaps the answer to rebuilding the SCA was not in terrestrial demos, but in the stars.

Master Vulpes immediately set out to act on his vision and raised funds (via SCA approved means of course) to build Æthelmearc-1; an advanced deep space probe sent to explore space in search of our distant reenactment alien ancestors. Æthelmearc-1 carries the message of the SCA (current copies of the Æstel, site tokens, and important internet links) in hopes that our alien brothers will intercept and understand the message, recognize us as equals, and once again cross the vastness of space to attend events. Recruitment…it’s out there.

It all started just as one would expect. Letters of Intent were sent in and reviewed, none were declined, and all the combatants and their consorts assembled on the appointed day.

The MOLs were quite pleased that there were exactly 16 fighters in the list, so the perfect double elimination tree was drawn up. While the skies looked ominous, it wasn’t raining… yet.

The procession of fighters and their consorts was held with much pomp and panoply, though the heralding in of Lord Marius Sittius as a “dark and menacing figure of malevolence, only tempered by the angelic nature of his wife, Lady Alita” did raise some eyebrows.

THL Darri is the first to withdraw

The first round started. Lord Sittius and his opponent, THLord Darri inn Valski, agreed to fight polearm. When Lay On was called, as Sittius wound up for a mighty overhead swing, Darri raised his glaive to block… and said “Owww!” To Sittius’ credit, he checked the swing without making contact. Darri had dislocated his shoulder when he threw his arms up for the block. Duke Christopher, who is mundanely an ER physician, had seen this kind of thing before and got the shoulder back in its socket, but Darri retired from the field.

What happened next is a bit of a mystery. While the MOLs were working out the pairings for the next round, Sir Thorsol Solinauga and Sir Beatrix Krieger, who were fighting for each other as usual, both withdrew from the Crown list. Some have opined that they must have had some disagreement that meant that they did not want to sit the thrones together. Others say it must have been some of the food that they shared. This correspondent has also heard that one of them drank all the port and cider the night before, and the empty cooler was discovered during the break to much recrimination.

Sir Thorsol and Sir Beatrix – but which of them drank all the cider?

While walking across the field to the list table, Lord Láegaire Mac Conaill found a chuckhole that nobody else had noticed until that point. Duke Christopher was once again called to give first aid. The hole was filled in, but Lord Láegaire withdrew with a twisted ankle.

Lord Robert MacEwin of Thornhill found the pollen from the trees surrounding the site set off his allergies so badly that by the second round he could not see well enough to continue. He went to the list table to withdraw from the tournament. As he walked away, he was heard grumbling something about ‘tree sex’.

Duke Timothy shortly before the lightning strike that eliminated him from Crown

The clouds were lowering, but still the rain held off. Suddenly, as Duke Timothy and Sir Murdoch sat chatting between rounds under His Grace’s pavilion, a lightning strike hit a tree in the woods behind them. While neither of them was badly hurt, the shock induced cramps in both men’s legs, causing them to withdraw from the tourney as well. The pavilions were quickly taken down, and the rest of the tourney was moved indoors, resulting in quite a delay.

Then Duke Maynard received a message from off-site. A relative  had been taken to the hospital with appendicitis. His departure from the event was slowed only by his informing the Crown of his withdrawal as he armored down. His friends had to collect his armor and return it to him the next day. His family member has since made a full recovery.

Sir Maghnus de Cnoc an Iora, Lady Svava of St. Swithin’s Bog, and THLord Cid Hiyo had lost in the first round, and when they again lost in the second, they were out of the running. Duke Sven Gunnarsson, Baron Cormacc Mac Gilla Brigde, Sir Finn Marland O’Shannon, and Lord Sittius had all won their second bouts, so they continued on, but the depletion of the list due to withdrawals left only these four still in the running.

Baron Cormacc prior to damaging his helm

Baron Cormacc and Sir Finn went out to fight their bout. During the second exchange of blows, Sir Finn seemed to lose track of which set of rules he was working under, and tackled Baron Cormacc, knocking him to the ground. A hold was called, Sir Finn immediately offered apologies, and withdrew from the tourney since it was the only honorable thing to do. As Cormacc was recovering, he realized that when Finn’s helmet collided with his, it had broken one of the bars in his grill. A search was made to find a helmet that would fit him but none were large enough, and His Excellency, too, had to withdraw.

During the delay while activities were moved indoors and the MOLs were adjusting the brackets, Duke Sven and Duke Marcus had been discussing something in Swedish. Duke Marcus offered a toast and each downed their Aquavit. Then Duke Sven offered another toast, and so on…

Duchess Siobhan and Duke Sven confer about his possible state of inebriation

When the list was finally set for the final round, Sittius and Sven were summoned by the herald. Sven stood to get his helmet, but then quickly sat back down. He had been drinking on an empty stomach while slightly dehydrated, and had misjudged the potency of his libations. Whether it was he who decided to withdraw, or Duchess Siobhan who said he was done, there was no question that he was in no state to fight.

The Kingdom Seneschal, Duke Christopher, who had watched all of this in disbelief, requested an urgent meeting with the Crown and the Earl Marshal, Master Morien. A lot of things had gone awry, but each withdrawal had been for what seemed to be reasonable cause. In the end, only one person was left on the field who had not withdrawn or lost two bouts in the tourney. They asked the Silver Buccle Herald, THLady Sophie Davenport, to make the announcement.

And that is how Lord Marius Sittius became the Dark Prince of Æthelmearc.

I, for one, welcome our new Dark Overlord, and hope Princess Alita will restrain his more bloodthirsty impulses.

Dark Prince Sittius with his Princess of Light, Alita

THLady Astrid is annoyed by the lack of light

After the success of last year’s Squires’ Rebellion, it’s been reported that other peers’ associates around Æthelmearc are now on strike. Distraught Pelicans, Laurels, and MODs are in negotiations to try to resolve their differences with their dependents, but the talks have stalled over a variety of issues.

Protégés are demanding more candles. THLady Astrid Vigaskegg complained “We go through candles at double the rate of other associates because we’re always burning them at both ends! It’s not fair that our Pelicans don’t give us enough lighting to do our work, especially after they stole that hour from us for Daylight Savings Time.”

THLady Renata losing sleep over her documentation

Apprentices are insisting on Fridays off so they can finish their Ice Dragon documentation before the event instead of looking up sources on their smartphones while driving to the the Rhydderich Hael at midnight on Friday. “Just one more citation…zzzzz… “ muttered an exhausted THLady Renata le Rouge as she fell asleep over her embroidery books.

And MOD’s associates have complained vociferously about the lack of any consistent naming practice. Lady Romey Feuerherrts has thrown up her hands in frustration at not being able to clearly describe her relationship with Master Clewin. “Am I a student? A cadet? A scholar? What does “scholar” even mean? It sounds like I’m studying Greek philosophy or something, instead of how to kill people with swords. I mean, really, just give me a decent word!”

Lady Romey is fed up

At “Greek philosophy,” Her Ladyship Renata briefly perked up and said “I can help with that… Just give me a moment to find the right primary source…” before dozing off again.

THLady Astrid is organizing a combined meeting of dissatisfied associates, and has plans for a union to be called “Associates For Learning – Coordinating Information and Ontology” or AFL-CIO.

The Queen is looking into the situation and is expected to deliver a statement shortly.